Friday 29 August 2014

Writing Sample

WALT:  Entertain

My writing goal this term was to linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs


SUCCESS CRITERIA
Structure
I have organised and sequenced my ideas into paragraphs for purpose and effect.

TASK: craft a free-choice piece of writing that shows how I am developing my goal


This is my first draft:



This is my edited piece:

Hi my name is Jaimey and the story you’re about to read is something you won’t believe. After Grandad passed away suddenly, we had to move into his old house, all the way on the other side of the country! Grandad’s rundown bungalow was on 32 Red Rum street. If you haven't noticed, Red Rum spells 'murder' backwards. Everybody talks about the inscrutable story behind his neighbourhood but we always thought it was just nonsense. But now me and my irritating little brother Mac have to actually live here. Mum always says not to believe the gossip about the street but me and Mac can’t help ourselves now.  The house is really old with some cobwebs and holes with mucky water oozing. Our old house was not like this. Our old house felt like a mansion with brand new rooms! This house has lot's of strange things but I can't prove it to my mother.  If my father were here, he would understand that all this nonsense could be true. But sadly, he got killed by hunters. He was collecting firewood in the near by forest where the hunters were also roaming. The hunters heard whispering rustles in the bushes and thought it was a tiger. They weren't wise because tigers are mostly in the jungle. They selfishly shot a bullet in the bushes. The bullet shot my father with a killing blow. Everything felt felt different that day. Ok, Ok, no more time for the intro now. Let's begin with the real story. We will begin with the part where it was my first day of school.

Today was my first day at Koopsy Intermediate school. It wasn't long till I noticed that if you unscramble Koopsy, it spells spooky. As I walked through the pale white path of the school it felt comforting. The school had lots of murals and colourful signs. The rest was covered in a blanket of white. We took Mac to his new class and his teacher seemed really nice. After that, mum and I had a conversation.
"Jaimey! Do you remember what class you're in?"

"Yes mum, room 16!"
"Well you have a good memory."
"Actually mum, my memory is too good. I remember things, I want to forget." I said softly...                            




Evaluation
How has your writing has improved this term?
My writing has improved because more people want to read the whole story and it is beginning to go smoothly.

The part of my story I am most proud of is…
The part I am most  proud of is the part where Jaimey describes the different features of the house because that makes a picture in the readers head.

Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?
Trying to link two paragraphs because when I link the two paragraphs it didn't really connect.

Feedback/Feedforward: 
Well done Aye I really got hooked into the story at the start. I also love how you have Red Rum street and Koopsy intermediate school. Maybe next time you can  add some more paragraphs. 
Lilli

Thursday 21 August 2014

Learning pit

The Learning Pit

WALA: The Learning Pit

Description: We have been learning about when good learning happens.

Task: Share what you know about the learning pit.
Criteria:
Draw the Learning Pit.

List at least 3 feelings that you might have when you are in the pit.
Flustered, challenged and annoyed.
List at least 3 strategies that you could use to get out of the pit.
Trial & error, start easy and build up, ask an expert.
Label where good learning happens.
In the pit.
List 3 things you could say to yourself when you are in the pit.
"Never give up!", "I can try and try again!", "I can do it!"


Evaluation:
Reflect on a time when you have been in the pit.
I have been in the pit when we learned fractions. I was trying to use a different way to prove that I know fractions.
How did you feel when you were in the pit?
I felt like I had to try even more to prove my fractions.
What did you do to work out of the pit?
I asked for help from my friend that has already proved that she could do fractions.

Feedback/Feedforward: I think that being in the pit is really hard because you are challenged.
I like how you said different way to prove it and you ask for help from your friend has already proved it. - Inara

Thursday 14 August 2014

Northern Cluster Arts Festival

Yesterday (Wednesday 13th August 2014) RSS performed at the Northern Cluster Arts Festival. At the Northern Cluster, all the schools from the north of Palmerston North performed a concert as a celebration of their performing arts. Only the chosen people from RSS got to perform in the Northern Cluster and I'm one of them.

Here are the groups from RSS that performed in the Northern Cluster.
'Rustling Ukes'/ 'The Actives'/ 'Te Roopu Whanau'
(Senior Ukulele Group/ School Band/ Kapa Haka)
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Te Reo Māori

WALT: communicate a message.

Description: We have been participating in 3 different workshops around colour, compositions and fonts.  We put these skills to use in a poster sharing our knowledge about Te Reo Maori.
Why? We have noticed that our posters are too cluttered and do not communicate a  message well.

Task: Make a poster about Te Reo Maori.

Criteria:
Message: My message is clear and purposeful.  Everything that is on my poster relates to my message.

Composition:  My poster is balanced.

Font:  My font is clear, readable and suits the message.

Colour:  I have used 2-3 colours that are complementary.  My background choice makes the text pop out.
Accuracy:  All of the words on my poster are spelt correctly.

Evaluation:
What are you most proud of and why?
I am most proud of how we added the important Maori words.

What challenged you the most and why?

What challenged me the most is the deadline of the poster.

Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?
My goal to work towards is to maybe use different Maori words.


Feedback/Feedforward:I like the way you have used composition and accuracy but next time you could use a bit more colour great job Emma:)

Self Assessment: